One month ago today, on April 13th, myself and 35 others were sworn in as Peace Corps volunteers. The next day we were suddenly on our own, alone in new houses, starting crazy new jobs, trying to gracefully and nonchalantly integrate into our new communities even though we stick out worse than sore thumbs. The Peace Corps kid gloves were officially off. No more host families to coddle and shelter us, no more training staff to solve all our problems, no more “I’m just a trainee” excuse. Shit just got real.
The integration process this first month has been relatively smooth, with a few minor bumps along the way just to see if I’m up for the challenge. It started out like any other time when you move into a new town or a new neighborhood. In the states, you try and meet the neighbors, find the closest bank, grocery store, bar (just me?), ice cream store (just me again?) and you slowly but surely fall into a new routine. It was a similar process for me here in Guyana when I moved down the coast to my new village of Vreed-en-Hoop. Finding the closest bank and grocery store was easy; there is only one of each within 20 miles of my house. Meeting the neighbors was also easy, my house is so close I can literally reach out and touch the house next door to me. And with everyone always liming and gaffing on their front steps it’s hard for them not to notice the white girl dragging suitcases through the alley. Side note, I have already decided that I am bringing none of the clothes and supplies I brought here back with me. No way am I dealing with those ridiculous suitcases again.
The first month as a volunteer was both full of activity and down time. There is so much to experience, so many new things to do and figure out and wrap your head around. But at the same time, the first month of service provides one with a lot of free time, a lot of moments to lay in the hammock, feeling totally alone in this strange new world and wonder, what the hell have I gotten myself into? You have a lot of time, probably too much time to sit and think about who you are, who you want to be, and inevitably, if that person you want to be is the same person you actually will be after 2 years in the Peace Corps. I already knew that I wasn’t the same person I was when I was 12 and first discovered what Peace Corps was and had that first thought of, oh that might be a cool thing to do when I grow up. But over this last month I’ve also realized that I’m not the same person I was when I applied for Peace Corps, now over 2 years ago, or even the same person who got on that plane at JFK 3 months ago. It’s a really freaky moment when all the pieces suddenly fall into place and you realize that that feeling you’ve been feeling, that weird ache in your gut is just you realizing for the first time what you actually want your life to look like. Almost enough to knock me clear out of my hammock :) Now I won’t bore you with the mundane details of exactly what I come to discover about myself and exactly what I want my life to be (hint: it’s probably the opposite of what most of you are thinking) but it has definitely made me appreciate being in the Peace Corps even more, it made me thankful for this time in my life that I can have this crazy adventure, this wild roller coaster ride, and then come home in 2 years and start down a different path towards the life I want.
So one month in, this is pretty much where I’m at. Having crazy existential, self-realization moments in the jungle. Who knows, maybe it’s the result of all the heat and rum my body has been subjected to since I’ve been here. Either way, I’m excited to see what month two has in store for me and, the way time has been moving so far, my 2 years will be done before I know it, and probably before I’m ready for it. Happy one month anniversary to all my fellow Guy 23 volunteers, we are one month closer to accomplishing something truly amazing. Love to all my family and friends back home, I miss you all every day.
Love,
Lindsay
